REAL HAPPINESS

 


A Nuddybongo online course with none other than Francis Spondulix, with an introduction by his (untrained) Holiness the Dally Lama (Llama farmer)

Hello , glad you clicked the link.

I’m Nonzin Gyatso, the twin brother of  Tenzin Gyatso, his Holiness the Dalai Lama.
If you have read the sermon text concerning my elephant, by Father Frankie in the wellbeing chapel, you will know that I’m called the Dally Lama because I Dilly Dally a lot and I’m a bit doolally, so they say. My nickname is Dilly and I’m a Llama farmer in the Tibetan Wilderness.
Actually, I wanted to be the Dalai Lama and then I wouldn’t have to muck out the Llama hut every night. My brother these days teaches people all over the shop how to be happy by writing books of quotes. He was moved from Tibet years ago when the Chinese came and wrecked the place, but, as I was/am a nothing compared to parents’ favourite, God-Boy, I had to flee to the wilderness to freeze my nuts off; or have them cut off. My brother who now rubs shoulders with Royalty, sells millions of books. This means he lives the high life while he waffles on about that inner happiness bollocks. He’s smiling because he makes a mint and farts through silk knickers; yes, that’s what he wears under his sheets. The badstar!
Someone once asked me ‘are you a sceptic?’
‘Am I hell!’  I replied. Just because my bro’s minted from talking mumbo jumbo it doesn’t make me a sceptic you know.

I love Francis Spondulix’s philosophy whose course articles I read in Nuddybongo magazine. I get the magazine from Lhasa paper shop by sending Truke my trained Llama. He also brings me a bottle of coke and some fruit pastilles. Enjoy this revolutionary course, it’s great! (And it’s the TRUTH!).

Please scroll down to the elusive happinesss itself ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'POTS OF CASH'

 

Announcement!

We here at Nuddybongo.com, published as an online magazine by the brilliant Wonky eBooks, are pleased to announce to the world that we are to start an ongoing ‘section’ by none other than international money magnet, Francis Spondulix.

This section will be about the ‘having fun’ style of ‘thinking’ behind the acquisition of money and will be called Pots of Cash. The articles, which will comprise the course, are by none other than international money magnet Francis Spondulix.

Here then is your host, Francis Spondulix, the international money magnet ...

Hello to both rich and poor! I’m Francis Spondulix, the international money magnet. The people at the Wonky eBook Shop have asked me to do monthly articles on how wealthy people think i.e. the fun loving wealthy people in Nuddybongo magazine. I wholeheartedly agreed because who knows, one of you may hit gold and be extremely happy with it. A lot of people have said to me ‘I’d sooner be rich and miserable rather than poor and miserable’. Well I like seeing not miserable but happy people and, all of the happy people I know are rich. Rich people are happy people and poor people aren’t ... that’s just the way it is and has always been and will be for the foreseeable and unforeseeable future.

Spiritual people like Buddhists and Harry Krishna followers (I think it’s Harry, that’s what they chant when walking around city centres annoying shoppers ... odd name for a God, Harry, but hey ho). Krishna fanatics who are poor and wear sheets, say that ‘happiness’ comes from the inside. That’s bunkum because inside we’re guts and organs, unless that is happiness happens because we can be glad we actually have guts and organs; and bones of course.
Happiness, as almost everyone knows comes from having things on the outside, the prime source of happiness is therefore money; it isn’t rocket science is it?
Your first thing to remember: People with ‘proper jobs’ do not think of fun like most wealthy people and, most wealthy fun thinking people don’t think like people with ‘proper jobs’.

Someone in my youth once said to me ‘I would be happy if I had pots of cash’, but he was poor and so he wasn’t a jolly man. When asked how he was (?) he always answered “oh, not too bad, you know, soon be Christmas, roll on death, just got to struggle on you know, if I didn’t have any bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all.”  He was poor and sounded down in the dumps, so I decided to be un-poor and get some pots of cash (pots of gold, like a Leprechaun). 
I went on a fortune-making route that no one else saw i.e. I did it differently; I thought about having some fun doing it. I have always wanted to be a potter (Krishna should change that name to Potter, that would be great watching his brethren chant that). I could then have fun making vases and sell them to exclusive potty shops.
I bought a second hand pottery wheel with some money my lovely, dear old grandmother gave to me to get her weekly shopping and went to a pottery class. Lordy I was rubbish! This was no fun. I thought it would be more fun to have someone make my beautiful creations while I watched, as it is always fun watching other people work. For instance, take this workplace ‘chant’ which says it all:

The working class can kiss my ass,
I’ve got the foreman’s job at last.

 So, who was the right person to help me? 
My grandmother unfortunately never got her shopping from me that day, which included a prescription and, well ... she died.
The right person was there at the class of course (which soothed my slight grief), but not a crappy student, the ‘teacher’ was called Joanie Cash (no relation and no co-incidence). She was superb. I offered her a partnership and she agreed; she would make the pots and I would sell them. We both knew lots of people who saved their purse and pocket change and also picked it up off streets to save in a container to take to the change machine. We made stylish pots in which people could save their change which sold like hot cakes.  The name of the company we formed  ‘Pots of Cash’. Ok, they were empty pots, but, they were made by Joanie Cash.

Here’s a way I fun-made a metaphoric pot of cash by making pretend-happy spiritual people very happy.
You have to admit, the Hare (it’s actually Hare!) Krishna lot ‘seem’ to be happy as they jump around town during busy shopping days banging on a drum and singing ‘Hare! Hare! Hare! Krishna!’ ... actually, without that mark above the e, i.e. Harè, it means that Krishna could have been a wild animal.
Well, I used some of my ‘Pots of Cash’ money to buy a beer kit with a barrel. I then brewed a beer I called ‘Krishna’s Favourite Ale’. I wanted to be cheeky, so I wrote on the barrel Made at Buddhist Breweries in the Himalayas ... or I could have written Krishna Bitter/Cider brewed at the Vatican Brewery using the best holy water from a clear mountain stream on land owned by the Protestant Church.
You get the idea? Cheeky controversy can help sell.

The next step is a stall. I set one up down my city centre on a Saturday morning and thought I would get some ‘suitable’ sales people. It wasn’t long before I heard the drum beat and the song Hare! Hare! Krishnaaaaa. I stop them by yelling “Balls (tennis) to you lot! Allah is GREAT!” They stopped, then unexpected and brilliantly, they slapped a ‘Krishwa’ on me (their version of a Fatwa), drew sharp swords from under the sheets they wear (they’re known as ‘shriveltinkle sheets’ due to winter operations). They ran at me in their posh trainers (plus daft haircuts), shouting ‘KRISHNA is great!’. I stopped them in their tracks by yelling, “Krishna ‘ale’ is GREAT! You lot serve and receive ten percent of profits to your temple!” They stopped, had a little huddle meet and the spokesman said to me “Bollocks to the frigging temple, we have bills you know.”
I had my eager and passionate sales people.


If you want to make pots of cash with this using other religions, you can.
I mentioned this to God in a pub ‘God, shouldn’t someone make loads of money making beer for all religions?’ And she said ‘agreed’ in the usual mysterious but beautiful way, which meant ‘at last!’ ... this is what I saw, which is also perfect as the name for your beer/s.

THIS MONTH’S FREE LESSON ... Module 1

I have a good friend Sarah, who, knowing that I have a great sense of humour, scours the internet and sends me course material, which are news items with great potential i.e. Pot(s of cash)ential ... ho ho.

Course tip: Try and think like a fun thinking wealthy person.
A person, who works hard to pay the bills, thinks like a person who works hard to pay the bills. i.e. look forward to the possibilities of the day, rather than dreading work.

 

To Module 1