Odd Shaped Balls
A Quick Flash Rugby History lessonQ: Orange: What came first, the colour or the fruit?
Q: What came first? The chicken or the egg?
But ... WHY was rugby invented?Well ...One day long ago a group of women sat by a river having a picnic. They were talking about the weather, shopping, handbags, real men (there weren’t any) shoes, astrophysics, neurogenetics i.e. the usual stuff, when suddenly one of them blurted out ‘Ouch! A thought has just come into my mind!’ ...
“What is it?” asked the rest.
‘Well, it’s a saying, ‘what’s he like?’
This confused them all and they asked “what’s ‘who’ like?”
No one knew, it was like ... ’they’ want you to think like that ... who are ‘they’?
God heard and answered, but it took a little while. A hundred years later Webb Ellis got fed up with the nancy boy, ‘nice hair’, professional foul tantrum acting and as much money as an indie writer ... game of poncey football; so he picked up the ball and ran with it. On the way to the goal many tried to stop him and he punched them in the faces knocking out teeth and throwing bodies everywhere. He put it between the goalposts and then wondered what to do next. So, as he was ugly but wanted a gorgeous wife and kids, he took off his kit and ran around the field in only his jockstrap and boots (and socks) singing ‘I am what I am’. One woman who was the great, great granddaughter of the woman with the idea many years back looked on him and was immediately inspired by God who had been patiently waiting in the wings. She wanted his babies, his ring and eventually half of everything he owned, because he was a great warrior and he could arse around as he wished if he chose. All the other women hadn’t a clue what to say, but she shouted ‘what’s he like?!’
From then on that could be said only to rugby league players. Ordinary men (and Union players, although they do say it about each other) had no chance of anything naughty from league side line women including the ‘better than naughty’ accolade of ‘what’s he like?!’
Something like that anyway.
Rugby was therefore invented to fit the statement. Simple!
Back to flashfiction page